How Long, O Lord?
How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
(Psalm 13:1–2)
The opening words of this Psalm became the cry of my soul during a very difficult year.
It started with a close family member’s cancer diagnosis and got worse with the death of my grandpa. I caught COVID, developed pneumonia, and was severely ill for months. While I was still recuperating, my parents were both hospitalized with COVID. They recovered, but at the time it was terrifying.
I was just starting to recover from this onslaught when a long-time friend and mentor died, followed by the horrific news that my former ESL student’s toddler had been struck in a hit and run and died in his mother’s arms.
The grief and shock from all these events left me bewildered. I hadn’t known life could hurt so much. I asked God what the point of all this pain was. Why did He allow these terrible things to happen to me and the people I cared about?
Psalm 13 was written by King David, one of the most famous figures in the Bible. David had a close relationship with God. The Lord handpicked David to rule Israel and made a covenant with him.[1]
And yet David wrote,
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer,
and by night, but I find no rest.
(Psalm 22:1–2).
Despite being “a man after God’s own heart,” David experienced great suffering. He spent a large portion of his life fleeing from men who wanted to kill him. He lost friends and children. He was betrayed and mocked by people he loved.
I’m struck by how many biblical figures like David were beloved by God but still suffered immensely. Joseph, Elijah, and Jeremiah served God faithfully, but like many devoted God-followers they were falsely imprisoned, hunted, or rejected by their people.
Jesus’ mother, Mary, was called the “most blessed of women” (Luke 1:42). But at Jesus’ circumcision, Simeon warned her, “A sword will pierce your own soul” (Luke 2:35).
Mary was likely shamed by her community because of her unwed pregnancy and supposed infidelity to Joseph. Years later she watched her firstborn, naked and reviled, slowly die on a cross. The sword that pierced her soul was sharp indeed.
God said of Jesus, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17). But He allowed His Son to suffer more than any human in history. Not only did Jesus die by crucifixion – one of the cruelest execution methods ever conceived – He also endured the full onslaught of God’s wrath.
We all know that suffering is a consequence of the fall.[2] Being a child of God doesn’t give us a free pass from pain. In fact, the Bible makes it clear that believers should count on trials and tribulation.[3] If anything, identifying with Jesus increases our capacity for suffering. As God softens our hearts and increases our understanding of holiness, the pain and evil of the world will only hurt more.
How do we survive the pain of this life with our faith intact?
During that difficult year, truths about God’s character kept me grounded. He works all things together for good (Romans 8:28); His ways are not my ways (Isaiah 55:8); He has a purpose for what He does and does not permit. Even when He seemed silent, God was listening to my cries for help. He kept count of my tossings; He put my tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8).
At some point, it occurred to me that my suffering was a road He had already walked. Jesus wept when His friend Lazarus died (John 11:35). He dreaded physical suffering, begging His Father to find another way to secure salvation (Luke 22:42). In His hour of greatest need, He felt abandoned, crying, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46).
The writer of Hebrews says, “…we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (4:15–16).
Jesus’ disciples didn’t understand what He was doing through His horrific death. Likewise, we rarely understand God’s purpose while we are suffering, but we have this encouragement:,
If we have died with him, we will also live with him;
if we endure, we will also reign with him;
if we deny him, he also will deny us;
if we are faithless, he remains faithful—For he cannot deny himself (2 Timothy 2:11–13).
Having suffered loss after loss, David composed Psalm 13:1–2. But he also wrote verses 5 and 6:
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
because He has dealt bountifully with me.
God is trustworthy. God is good. Whatever you are suffering, cling to these truths.
Written by Miriam, Life in Messiah’s Communications Assistant
What is the cry of your soul right now? Express it to God. He is listening.
How can you relate to Jesus in your pain?
Are you afraid to admit any doubts or feelings of abandonment you might experience because of suffering? Take them to God. Ask Him to sustain your faith and help you persevere.
Have you accepted your Messiah? He suffered unimaginable pain to secure forgiveness and eternal life for you. If you believe in Him, you will spend eternity in the presence of God. Are you ready to believe? Click here.
Endnotes:
[1] The Davidic Covenant is found is 2 Samuel 7, where God promises David that a descendant of his will reign forever.
[2] Genesis 3:16-19 details some of the consequences of our first parents’ disobedience. See also Romans 5:12 8:22.
[3] See John 16:33 and 2 Timothy 3:12, e.g.