“I Have a Jewish Friend…”
My phone alerted me to an incoming call from an unrecognized number. When I checked voice mail I heard, “My name is *Madeline…. I have a Jewish friend who is hurting and I’m not sure how best to help. Can you please call me?”
This is one of a number of calls, texts, and emails we have received in recent months. The stories are varied, but in each case a caring Christian has concern for a Jewish friend’s situation. And usually the believer wants help in sharing their faith while strengthening the friendship.
How would you counsel someone who asked for help in a situation like this? In part, here’s how I responded:
…Your best chance for ministry, I would say, lies in your being a source of comfort and encouragement to your dear friend. And what she really needs, of course, is the work of the Lord to bring healing to her heart and a new purpose in life – now and eternally.
You’re already doing two of the most important things a friend can do: you are demonstrating love and you are praying for her. She sees you as a trusted confidante with a proven track record. Because of this you can be a channel of God’s grace in her life.
That wonderful Hebrew word hesed (sometimes written chesed because it’s a soft guttural letter at the beginning) is variously translated, often “love” or “mercy.” [This is the repeated refrain in Psalm 136: “His love/mercy endures forever.” It bears the weight of “steadfast loyal love” and “enduring covenant faithfulness.”]
I believe this is an attribute of God’s character that *Irma needs to experience in a deeply personal way. Our tendency in time of difficulty (especially when deeply hurting) is to focus on “fixing the problem.” But God has a way of designing difficulties in life not so we will “find a solution” but seek Him.
The challenge you have is to help her see this reality. This is seldom accomplished by “let me tell you.” The best tools we have are questions to both open discussions and open minds. I hesitate to give anyone a script because I don’t know the individuals concerned. But examples of questions that may lead to good conversations might be something like these:
Where in your Bible would you go to find God’s comfort for your hurts and wisdom for life?
What evidence can you find that demonstrates He cares for you? [She may have to do some reflection here. If nothing else, He’s given you to be an instrument for good in her life!]
Randy Newman is a Messianic Jew (Jewish believer in Yeshua/Jesus) who has written Questioning Evangelism. I have found that and Tactics: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions to be helpful in thinking through approaches.
But “There is no substitute for being controlled by the Holy Spirit.” Ultimately it is not human wisdom or superior methodologies that win the day. More people are “loved to Christ” than argued into the Kingdom. But that doesn’t mean that the gospel doesn’t need to be verbalized! “How shall they hear without a preacher” is Paul’s way of putting this.
Being present, listening and caring is the first step. In addition to letting her know you’re praying for her, ask if she would mind if you prayed with her. (Perhaps you’re already doing this. God often softens hardened hearts when they hear their name tenderly lifted up before His throne.)
The reality is God knows *Irma intimately and loves her deeply. He already knows His plan for her life – and yours. There is a reason He has your life intertwined with hers – for such a time as this. We need not feel the pressure to “save” anyone; rescuing is God’s job.
But we can point people to the Savior. “I’m not sure if you’d be interested in knowing (insert some aspect of your personal testimony here, like “how God has helped me through a tough time” or “why the Messiah of Israel is the most important person in my life”) – but if you’d like to hear it sometime, I’d love to tell you part of my journey of faith.”
Rather than “force feeding,” it’s far better to put a morsel in front of someone to see if God is stirring hunger for truth. A good first nibble may awaken a spiritual appetite! And I’m reminded that I am not responsible for the other person’s response, only for my own attitude and action in representing the King of Kings.
As promised I’m attaching a resource I hope will prove helpful. If you have any questions you’ve got my number! May the Lord’s hesed be poured out on *Irma such that she may come to know the promised Messiah who came to redeem us.
Written by Wes Taber, LIFE Global Ambassador
We’d love to hear from you of any resources you have found helpful in building relational bridges to demonstrate Messiah’s love and win a hearing for the gospel.
And if you’d like help in sharing the good news of Messiah with your Jewish friends, we’d be delighted to assist.