Search Me, O God
A stack of library books sat next to my front door. Each one was found like lost treasure from beneath the sea. All nine had been missing for months and the library was looking for them. Gratitude welled up in my heart as I checked off my list “Find library books.”
It was the Jewish month Elul and my list of making amends waned. Not only did I have a list of physical things I wanted to make right – e.g., returning all borrowed items and paying off all debts – but also a spiritual list.
Who did I need to forgive?
Did I need to ask for forgiveness?
The spiritual inventory list was a lot harder than deep sea diving for library books.
The month of Elul is the last month on the Jewish civil calendar. The following month, Tishri, begins with Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. Traditionally Elul is a time of reflection and repentance in preparation for the High Holy days, the time when Jewish people believe God’s books are opened and an account is rendered.
This personal time of introspection is called heshbon hanefesh – literally “an accounting of the soul.” The synagogues begin sounding the shofar weekly in preparation for this season. The blast is meant to shake our soul awake, reminding us to take our relationship with G-d seriously.
The Jewish calendar is a prophetic timeline revealed in scripture. The spring festivals – Passover, the Feast of Unleavened Bread, Firstfruits, and Pentecost – have been fulfilled by the death, burial, and ascension of Jesus the Messiah.
In between the spring and fall feasts is a four-month harvest period. The month of Elul signifies the end of the harvest. The fulfillment of Passover, the remissions of sins and life from the dead, leads us into a joyous season.
“One of the best-known teachings about Elul is that the four Hebrew letters of the month’s name are an acronym from the verse in Song of Songs: Ani l’dodi v’dodi li (“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”). Song of Songs is understood to be an allegory in which the lovers are God and Israel. Elul is thus understood to be a time of recommitting to our relationship with God.”[1]
This understanding of the acronym changes the foreboding tone to sweetness. It reminds us that our relationship with God needs to look more like falling in love than rules and punishment. We aim to make amends because we long to please the King of Heaven.
One interesting teaching from the founder of the Chabad sect compares God to a King who normally is unapproachable and hidden away from the commoner only to be addressed through an advocate. During the month of Elul he is seen leaving the palace and found walking among the fields. He is able to be addressed and approached by all and found in the common places.
This illustrates that this month is a time of renewal and personal closeness to the King of Kings. The finished work of Messiah, the perfect mediator who makes it possible for me to walk closely with the Unapproachable One. To be found in the common places. It is a beautiful time to take inventory and ask,
Am I living a life worthy of such love? How might I please the One who has died for me?
Whether deep sea diving for forgotten library books or forgiving a transgression of my neighbor, we are to do it all to the glory of G-d.
Written by Kori, LIFE staff member
(1) In the busyness of life, serious self-examination is often neglected. When was the last time you set aside time for deep personal reflection?
(2) King David understood his capacity for the self-deception that causes us to overlook our sins and excuse our failings. Can you echo his request in Psalm 139?
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
24 And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
(3) Unconfessed sin is a barrier to our communion with our holy God. But “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).