A New Year’s Wake-Up Call
I woke up this morning and conviction hit me like a ton of bricks. Has sleep become an idol to me?
Let me elaborate. Every morning, I wake up; “So how did you sleep?” my husband and I ask each other. The answers vary from “Okay,” to, “Best night of sleep I’ve had in a long time!” or, “I don’t even want to talk about it.”
The night before an early morning flight, or a race, or the nights where my husband is away, I just lie in my lonely bed, hoping my brain will shut off and I’ll fall asleep.
As the hours pass, my prayers turn from “Lord, please help me fall asleep” to “Okay, I’d really like some sleep now.” In the early hours of the morning, “God, don’t you realize I function better with sleep? Don’t you want me to have the strength to serve you tomorrow?” And finally, “Lord, I beg you. Even just an hour of sleep.”
When I spend time in Israel, sometimes this battle will last a week or two. I believe that would be called insomnia. But I think a more accurate term would be spiritual warfare. (That is a topic for another day.)
But, needless to say, the battle rages while I lie in bed. Then I really want to know, “Lord, I came all the way here to serve you. Could you give your servant some sleep?” After a week of insomnia, I’m embarrassed to say this appeal isn’t so nicely phrased.
Are you starting to see how much I obsess over sleep? Have I built my case yet? Well, there is more. Enter our first child.
Top priority for me and this newborn? Get him sleeping through the night! I read multiple books and watched videos on how best to sleep-train my child. Praise the Lord, he was sleeping through the night by seven weeks old! Thank you, God!
But my sleep rhythm was thrown off by all the middle-of-the-night feedings. I didn’t get a good night of sleep for a year.
My child is now five years old, and even to this day I obsess over his sleep. He should be sleeping 11 hours, why is he only sleeping 10? Why does he keep waking up at 5am? What book do I need to read? Is someone else experiencing this?
Why can’t I control his sleep? is really the root question.
So back to this morning – and my conviction. I recognize how much I obsess over sleep and treasure it. What now?
I should confess it to the Lord (1 John 1:9). And hand it over to Him. I’m not sure what this looks like yet. I need to hand over my obsession, my desire to control, and trust the Lord whether I sleep eight hours or one.
Is this relatable?
Have you heard others say, “I need to take care of myself first, so I can be a better xyz for my family,” or, “I need to be the best version of myself”? Sounds like a good thing, right? But is it biblical?
There is such a high focus today on self-care and mental health. And I agree, it is important. We should try to get a good night’s sleep, exercise, eat well, and care for our bodies (God-given temples). These are great ideas for New Year’s resolutions. But is self-care the ultimate goal?
The top two commandments in the Bible are: love God and love your neighbor as yourself. It seems we often get stuck on, “What’s best for me?” and stop there.
Self-centeredness isn’t taught. Spending time with a two-year old who says “mine” all day long proves the point.
But are we actively pushing against this tide in the church? I challenge you to count the next time you are at church how many “me and my’s” there are in the worship songs. I hope your church has more “You and Thou’s,” but that would be against the grain, at least in most churches in the United States today.
For me, I’m so hyper-focused on getting the sleep I need and ensuring my son’s changing sleep patterns don’t affect my schedule that I forget the bigger picture. I need to be loving God and loving others. And when sleep evades me, I need to lean into God’s strength (Psalm 55:22; 37:3; Matthew 11:28; Philippians 4:13; and so many more).
I wish I could provide you three easy steps on how to shift focus from self to others, on how to remove the idol of self (or sleep). But I’m still figuring it out myself.
I think I’ll start with prayer. “Lord, when I wake up, regardless of how much sleep I got, will you turn my focus to You and help me see who I can encourage and serve today?”
Written by Stephanie, Life in Messiah staff
What is your New Year’s resolution for 2025?
How about resolving to love your neighbor better this year? Or spending daily time with God in His Scriptures? Or exchanging kvetching (complaining) for counting your blessings – even in difficult circumstances?
“There is no substitute for being controlled by the Holy Spirit” is one of Life in Messiah’s core values. Check out the Navigating This Life TOV Podcast for biblical insights on overcoming in the spiritual battles we face.